10 Steps to A Divorce

According to statistics approximately 50% of first marriages will end in divorce, approximately 60% of all second marriages will end in divorce and approximately 73% of all third marriages will end in divorce.

Considering these statistics it seems that what is intended to have longevity is becoming increasingly temporary.  The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is 8 years.  So if you are currently married or considering marriage, let me go ahead and teach you how to get divorced.

Step 1: Enter into marriage with only TV and other media images of what marriage is about

1. Happily Ever After is a nice idea, but it is flawed if you do not think you will have some storms…in reality how you endure the tests of marriage will do more to strengthen your marriage than the good times, but you have to first know the aim

Step 2: Failing to have good examples of marriage around you to learn from in advance

1. It is nice if your parents had a nice marriage from your perspective, but when you grow older you need the wisdom from their trials to make sure you can build a marriage that lasts

Step 3: Ignore the warning signs that the person you are considering might not actually be marriage ready

1. I know you have strong confidence in your leadership skills, the ability to nourish and draw the good out of others, but this is a bad idea…marriage will already take effort when two people are trying, imagine only one

Step 4: Marry potential that is not in motion

1. That’s right…you may see something in them that they do not see in themselves or are afraid of in themselves or have no intent in moving in themselves

Step 5: Quoting vows without heart or full understanding

1. The vows we exchange in the marriage ceremony are very important, but two key things you have to consider

2. Your vows are not actually to your spouse…your spouse is the son or daughter of God and your vows are to him about your commitment to his child

3. For better or for worst is just what it says, but if you have only thought about the better without considering the worst you are well on your way to potential divorce

Step 6:  Make your marriage all about you and your needs

1. This is also known as selfishness…even when it looks like you are doing something for your spouse it is with the mindset of how it will come back to you

Step 7:  Listen to foolish counsel

1. Having counsel in marriage is absolutely necessary, but if that counsel comes from people, including family and friends, who will not be truthful with you about you, or single people or people who are unable to practice in their own marriage what they are telling you, then you are listening to foolish counsel

Step 8: Make threats, openly or concealed

1. Open threats are anything that indicates you might leave or that divorce is an option on the table

2. Concealed threats are actions that give the illusion that you might leave or that divorce is an option on the table…for example flirting

Step 9: Infidelity

1. While cheating doesn’t have to mean your marriage will end, the says that you quit on your marriage…by the way infidelity is not always sexual, sometimes it is emotional (opening up in areas you have shut off from your spouse)

The final step actually should have been step number 1, but I saved the best for last…

Step 10: Enter marriage with a plan ‘B’

1. That plan ‘B’ is often divorce and sounds something like, “If it doesn’t work out at least…” You cannot start a marriage out this way

There you have it.  At this point you can speak to an attorney and if they do not tell you this one truth they are bad attorneys and your divorce fight is sure to be most unpleasant, “Divorce rarely solves the core issue.”

In general divorce is the result of neglect, pride and selfishness!  I would stay away from it if I was you, but the choice is yours.

By the way, if you have children they will probably suffer the most, but then again you probably are not thinking about this because you have made your marriage about who is right and who is wrong!