Being A Christ Husband

Updated: Nov 28, 2019

Marriage is hard work!  If you have ever paid attention to me, my teachings, Facebook postings and blogs, you know this is one of my mantras.  

So since marriage is hard work, what do you do when you want to quit?  When you are tired of trying to live out Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”?  

The answer is simple and complex at the same time.  The simple answer is continue to strive to be a Christ husband?  Well what does that mean?  What does it mean to be a Christ husband?  Well that is where the complexity comes into play.  

To be a Christ husband means that you have to: 

  1. Remember the cup

  2. Endure the assault

  3. Suffer the Cross of Marriage

Remember the Cup

Christ volunteered to come to the earth much like you volunteered to marry your wife.  Hopefully you married her with purpose…Godly purpose that is…in your heart.  

There will be times when you want the cup to pass, but recalling of the purpose should always cause your asking to end with “never the less”.  In times of trial in your marriage you will need to do a few things to get past you cup question: 

  1. Go to a place of prayer…find your garden and go there quickly and with purpose

  2. Seek the father for confirmation, reaffirmation and strength

  3. Resolve to walk in the decision of God

Endure the Assault

You will face assault on your character.  Oftentimes, without knowing, your wife may engage in actions that result in an attack on your character.  You will stand trial in her court where she is the arresting officer, judge, jury and executioner.  The charges may vary, such as how you handle finances, lead the home, make decisions, your hobbies, etc…

Jesus withstood attack from those whom he had chosen to die for to provide a way for them to overcome their sinful flaws and be reconciled to the Father.  Even when those external to his relationship, i.e. Pontius Pilot and his wife, saw something different, those who were trying him and accusing him would not be deterred, nor would they stop to consider their own actions or motives.  They went to extremes to have their desires fulfilled.  

You may face this and in those times God may ask for your silence.  Even when you are saying, “But God, my colleagues and employees appreciate and respect me.  My friends and extended family appreciate and respect me.  My community appreciates and respects me.  My leaders respect and appreciate me, but you want me to be quiet while my wife depreciates and disrespects me?”  The answer is yes…he may expect you to be absolutely quiet.  

Through experience, this will be very, very, very difficult for you to do, trust me!  You will have an extreme desire to let your human nature and nature as a man to defend yourself takeover.  If you do speak, it should only be at God’s direction and under his instruction, otherwise stay silent.  

Suffer the Cross of Marriage

Nothing prepares you for the cross of marriage…you will cry out to the father and feel forsaken at times, but you must resist.  Resist what?  I’m glad you asked the question:

  1. Resist calling the legions for deliverance 

  2. Giving into the critics

  3. Resist Drinking from the Sponge of Bitterness

The Legions…

When Jesus was on the cross he could have called for the angels to deliver him at any time and have destroyed those who were against him, but he did not.  Instead he resisted.  

So what are your legions?  Divorce lawyers, other women, work.  The list can go on, but regardless, they can’t truly deliver you.  Their deliverance of you will only cause pain to others tied to you.  Not just your children and possibly your spouse, although they might welcome it, but also others who look to your endurance with hope for their own marriage to be healed.  

The Critics

While Jesus was on the cross he had two others there with him.  One gave him self-centered instruction and criticized him for not taking worldly action.  He wanted Jesus to put aside his Godly purpose for a temporary, earthly outcome. 

However, the other person, defended Jesus’ action and only asked him that he remember him.  

What does that mean for you?  Ignore solutions that only bring temporary peace, but remember others to guide them to actions that lead to lasting peace.  

Resist Drinking from the Sponge of Bitterness

While Jesus was on the cross he refused to drink the bitter drink offered to him by the guards watching his suffering.  This would have perhaps eased his suffering or made him numb to it.  

However, when you are offered the opportunity to become bitter towards yourspouse, resist it.  It may make you feel good for a moment, but in the end it will cause you to lose focus of the suffering and its purpose.  

What is the purpose you ask?  So that others might not have to go through the same thing, but if they do, perhaps theirs can end sooner, because they have an example to help them overcome their challenge sooner rather than later or at least identify where they are in the process.

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© 2019 by Marriage Refresh.