Silent Screams & Marriage (Part 2)

Updated: Nov 28, 2019

“The most painful tears we cried, were the tears we cried in silence.” ~Unknown~

I walked into Starbucks to order my usual grande Pike.  I walked over to the coffee station to add my sugar, half and half and cinnamon.  When I turned, I saw her sitting in the corner.

I walked over to the table and asked if I could have a seat and she motioned towards the chair.  As I took my seat I noticed she still had her ring on and that was a good sign.  I acknowledged the ring by pointing at my own and she smiled.

“So how is it going?” I asked.  And she smiled a big smile before saying, “The same, but it’s different now.” Rasing my eyebrows, “Do tell.”

For the next hour I heard about more silent screams, but they were different.  He is what she shared with me:

Silent Scream 5: New Outlet

“The other day when I left you I prayed while sitting in my car, but I can’t say that I heard anything back from God.  I went to Cascade Park and took a long walk and I thought about a few things.  You know just talking to you the other day did my heart a lot of good.”

“So after Cascade I headed home, cooked dinner for my husband, watched TV and later when he initiated sex I did not withhold it.  We finished and both of us went to bed.”

“Thursday I went to work and I had a conversation with one of my male co-workers.  He had previously asked me the same question as you about my ring and I really didn’t answer him, so I gave him an update, told him about meeting you.  Friday he and I went to lunch we chatted some more.  He told me about his family and I told him about mine.  It just felt good to talk to masculinity again and not be on edge.  It was refreshing.”

Silent Scream 6: New Options

“Just talking to this guy and work and talking to you has just really given me a different perspective on things. I am worth it.  I deserve someone who is willing to open up to me and talk to me and not treat me as a convenience but rather a priority.  I need someone who considers me, thinks about me, believes in me, believes in us!”

“So Monday I have an appointment with a divorce attorney.  I mean it’s nothing serious right now, but I’m just seeing is it really worth it.  I want to understand the process.  Even if we don’t get a divorce maybe a separation would be a good idea for a little while.  Maybe absence would make the heart grow.”

“I know you are probably thinking I am all over the place, but I have cried my last tear over this situation.  If he doesn’t care that I’m gone, why should I care if I leave?  I really love my husband and I really want my marriage, but it takes two to fight for it if we want to keep it.”

I listened to everything she had to say and I smiled.  Then I asked her a simple question, “What is God saying to you?”  Her response was simple, “I do not know.”

“I have found that when we are being tempted or tried either 1 of 3 things is true:

  1. We are ignoring the voice of God

  2. We do not know the voice of God

  3. We do not understand the voice of God

Sometimes it is not about what God is actively saying, but rather what God has said to us before the moments of our trials.”

I asked her again could I pray with her and I prayed for her mind and integrity.  After praying I asked if we could meet again in a week or so and she agreed.  I closed our meeting with these words, “I believe that God will create the opportunity for your marriage to be transformed, but the question is will you be a willing participant?”

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